Remember those old Special K commercials where they asked, “What will you GAIN when you LOSE?”  When people stepped onto the scale, instead of seeing a NUMBER they were shocked to see WORDS. Words like: CONFIDENCE. JOY. FREEDOM.


I don’t know about you but those are the words I desperately wanted to GAIN in regards to my self image but felt hopeless in achieving them. There are so many LIES I believed from living in shame, fear and guilt. I yearned for confidence, joy and freedom but felt  INSECURE. AFRAID. A SLAVE TO FEAR.  I felt like “too much yet not enough” and was paralyzed by what others thought of me.


I feel like, in many ways, I’ll always have to battle those lies because they were so ingrained in my brain. They seem to think they’re welcome visitors in my mind. Similar to how John Nash (Russell Crowe) in The Beautiful Mind was never cured from schizophrenia but he learned the tools he needed to live with the disorder and not be ashamed to ask someone, “do you see this person too?”  Our brains and very efficient when it comes to habits, good or bad. Replacing unhealthy habits and negative thinking with healthy habits and positive thinking is tedious, to say the least. It takes time, intentionality, education and dedication to replace lies with truth. We have to dig up the roots of our unhealthy beliefs and plant a new tree.

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But friend, do you want to hear some really good news? CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!  After a year of meeting with a Christian therapist once a week, a 12-week topical class through my hospital called RSR (Rapid Symptom Reduction) and a 9-month program called Life Skills Phase 1, I noticed my words began to change.

Now, if you didn’t pick up on the math, this was not an overnight change.  Life change rarely happens instantaneously.  It’s not that instant change is impossible, it’s just not how it happens for most of us.  Just think…


I’ve mentioned this in previous posts, but it’s the foundational takeaway from my time in Life Skills: If you are TEACHABLE, it is FIXABLE. Unhealthy ways of thinking keep the lies of fear, shame and guilt ruling our minds. Our foundational beliefs determine how we see ourselves and the world, and if those foundations are faulty or unhealthy, we have the choice to uproot the old, faulty foundation and plant the seeds of a new and healthy foundation in its place.

This week, let’s think about what we could GAIN if we told those lies to GET LOST!

Does your tree of beliefs need to be uprooted and a new seed planted in its place? It will take time, but it will be WONDROUS!

Be brave, friend!  Identify the lies you believe. Get down to the roots. Reach out to a friend, counselor, pastor, therapist if you need to help you process. Sign up for a class like Life Skills that will help you put tangible steps in place to replace those LIES with the TRUTH.

You are loved.  You are valuable.  You are wanted.  YOU CAN LIVE IN CONFIDENCE, JOY + FREEDOM!

Gain _ Loss

Andrea M. Nyberg

WIFE · MOM · WRITER · SPEAKER · based in San Jose, CA.

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