Can I be honest with you? Sometimes, in my day-to-day life I feel stuck. I feel like a captive. I feel like I just want to get in my car, start driving and not look back.

I crave freedom. I crave being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I crave not having to answer to anyone or take care of anyone but myself. I crave independence. I crave solitude… a space to spread my wings as far as they’ll open.

I love my family. I really do. I would give my life in an instant for any one of them.

But in the same breath, I ache with resentment that my marriage isn’t what I hoped it would be. I taste the bitterness of motherhood being so much harder than I ever could have known. I despise the hot envy that courses through my veins and hoodwinks me again into believing everyone else has it better than me and is doing it better than me.

Any other Enneagram 4’s out there serving time in Envy prison?

Fear can lead me to depression quicker than you can blink your eyes and fill me with anxiety faster than you can fry an egg on the sidewalk on a hot summer day. It’s a prison guard that mocks me by dangling the keys to my freedom just out of reach.


Do you want to know the craziest part of this scenario? The door is unlocked.

Jesus unlocked it a long time ago when He set the captives free and released the prisoners from darkness. He took our ashes and gave us beauty. He took our mourning and gave us joy. He took our despair and gave us praise. (Isaiah 61, Luke 4)

So why do I keep ending up behind these bars?

Because I’m in a battle. And so are you. I have an enemy. And so do you.

The good news? We’ve got God with us in the battle. And He has given us what we need to fight for our freedom every step of the way.

“God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.” Eph 6:10-18 MSG

Jesus declared our freedom but the enemy is going to keep tempting us back behind the bars of fear every single day until Jesus returns for the final battle.

I know it’s weird to talk about “enemies in the spiritual realms,” “battles” and “evil princes of darkness” and all that seemingly sci-fi jazz. It’s just not part of our common language or thought processes. And because we can’t see it, we’re tempted to believe it doesn’t exist. Because it’s so hard to wrap our minds around, we lean towards just not thinking about it at all.

But friend, what if it is real? What if we are fighting a battle against Satan for the freedom of our minds every day and don’t even realize it? What then?

Well, I suggest we take the advice of the Bible and suit up with the armor of God.

Some days will be a tougher battle than others, but I’d rather come to the party prepared… wouldn’t you?

Let’s look at that passage once more in a different translation:

So use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when it is all over, you will still be standing up.

  • The strong belt of truth
  • The breastplate of God’s approval
  • Wear shoes that are able to speed you on as you preach the Good News of peace with God
  • Use faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan
  • The helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit—which is the Word of God

Pray all the time. Ask God for anything in line with the Holy Spirit’s wishes.

Eph 6:10-18 TLB

What’s holding you captive today, friend?

  • Trouble in your marriage or relationships?
  • Difficulties raising kids?
  • Job security?
  • Finances?
  • A toxic habit you can’t shake?
  • Physical, mental or emotional health issues?

Let’s suit up in the armor of God and see if it makes a difference as we fight our battles this week.

Let’s connect on social!

If you found hope or solidarity here, please comment and share!

Andrea M. Nyberg

WIFE · MOM · WRITER · SPEAKER · based in San Jose, CA.

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