I know I’m not the only one who feels like way. Right?
My feelings + my kids feelings + my husband’s feelings + everyone else’s feelings all seem too much to hold all at once. Keeping the boundaries strong between these seems darn near impossible some days. Am I right?
The turmoil within me begins to boil over onto those I love because I can’t seem to get a grip on things.
If you’ve ever felt that way (or feel that way right this very moment), pull up a seat friend. You’re in good company.
I’m right there with you.
In so many ways, I wish I wasn’t. I’ve done the therapy. I take the medication. I pray. I invest in community. I’m a Christian leader for cryin’ out loud – a Jesus lovin’ girl!! HOW AM I STILL STRUGGLING???
Well, my theory is this: anxiety is like the grey hairs that won’t stop showing up behind my ears. I may not be able to stop it from showing up, but I can learn how to interact with it.
The fact that anxiety makes me feel like a bad mom is a lie I am 100% over. I’m ready to dig a hole and lay that bad boy six feet under.
I AM NOT A BAD MOM BECAUSE I STRUGGLE WITH ANXIETY!
Yes, I yell at my kids sometimes. Ok, like a little every day. Because they are tyrants put on this earth to mold me into submission and show me my deepest sin and ugliest flaws!
Ok, ok. That’s not true. But that sure is how it feels sometimes. Anybody? Bueller??
In all honesty, they are precious. They are wonderful. I wouldn’t trade them for all the chai tea lattes and bookstores in the world! They are mine. They are a piece of me. And I think that’s what scares me.
They are so much like me. They feel big feelings like I do. Therefore, they lose their ever living minds over stupid stuff—just like I do. So, I’m therefore teaching my kids to be little anxiety ridden messes just like their mama. AHHHHH! Help. Just help.
Ok, yes, my kids probably have picked up way more anxious habits than I’d prefer. BUT THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME A BAD MOM. And if that’s YOUR reality — THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOM EITHER!
Sure, we lose our grits on each other – All. The. Ever. Living. Time.
- But we also have dance parties in the car on the way to school. We sing at the top of our lungs and show our best moves (while securely buckled in our seatbelts) to all the passersby on our morning commute. *We are fun*
- We also snuggle better than the cuddliest cuddle bear you ever did snuggle with. *We are tender*
- We make up jokes with each other and laugh until we snort. *We can let our hair down*
- We have tickle fights so tickly we almost pee our pants. (Or is that just mom-bladder talking?) *We can enjoy the little moments*
I could go on. I could sit down and list all the ways our family is awesome and beautiful and worth emulating. In fact, that sounds like an excellent exercise.
What a way to #reframe, huh?
Yes, we are a bunch of crazy banshees. But we are also a family who loves and supports each other fiercely. We talk about things, pray about things, forgive and ask forgiveness. We are building emotional intelligence.
If you’re feeling like a bad mom today – because anxiety won’t stop bugging you – take a moment to consider all the ways you’re killing it as a mom — you know, in those moments when you’re *not* thinking about strangling everyone in a 10 foot radius 😉
Because I know there are many, many ways you are rockin’ this mom gig – even when you feel like you’re losing your marbles.
We’ll look for those tomorrow.
But for today, just for a minute, turn up the radio and have a dance party. Because that is the surest way I’ve found to turn those frowns up-side-down.